


Peter Stark Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions

by lanceylance



Series: Social Media AU [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: M/M, Other, Social Media AU, just some good ol superfamily, not rlly tho, slighty crack?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 21:07:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17087744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanceylance/pseuds/lanceylance
Summary: Peter Rogers-Stark takes the WIRED Autocomplete Interview and answers the Internet's most searched questions.





	Peter Stark Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions

**Author's Note:**

> saw a tumblr post with superfamily social media edits a few months back and all of a sudden i was inspired to write one.

“Oh! Are we starting?” Peter asked, looking over at someone behind the camera. Once told yes, he turned back to the camera and gave it his biggest grin. “Hi, I’m Peter Rogers-Stark, and this is my WIRED Autocomplete Interview.”

 

“Alright, first set of questions!” He cheered, thanking the person who handed him the first board. “Let’s see… I’m gonna start from the middle, that’ll set people off.” He grinned at the camera again, ripping off the blank label from his first question.

“‘Is Peter Stark alive?’ Gee, that’s slightly ominous.” He laughed. “Yes, I am still alive, thank you for asking, I guess?”

“Next question!” He crumpled up the label and tossed it aside, then pulled off another from the board.

“‘Is Peter Stark from Queens?’ Yes actually, I was born and partially raised in Queens. I lived with my aunt there up until I was 8 years old. We actually were in Manhattan the day the aliens came and attacked, and she died trying to protect me from one of the aliens. Pops didn’t find me too long after that and helped me, and then after the battle he and Dad decided to adopt me.” There were some sad “aws” and other noises from behind the camera, but Peter just waved his hand at them. “It’s alright, I’ve moved past it and went forward with my life. Next question!”

“‘Is Peter Stark dead?’” He laughed again, tossing the board somewhere off to his left. “Jesus, you guys really are pressed about whether I’m alive or not. As I said before, I’m alive and doing well. Next set!”

“Right away, Mr. Stark.” Someone jokingly said, passing Peter the next board.

“Oh no, call me Peter. Mr. Stark are my fathers.”

 

“Does Peter Stark have a sister?” Peter looked up and smiled, stomping his feet in excitement. “No, but I wish I did! It’d be so awesome to have a younger sibling in general!” He looked back down at the camera and pointed at it. “Pops, Dad, if either of you two are watching this- I know you both are- I want a sister. Or brother. Now.”

“Next question… ‘Does Peter Stark is gay?’” Peter crumpled up the label. “The answer is… yes.”

 

“Alright, last one since Dad is getting bored and wants to go to the arcade.” He said, peeling back the white label on his final question. “‘Is Peter Stark Spider-Man?’ Hmm… I don’t know, what do you think Pops?”

The camera turned over to Steve, who looked absolutely terrified. Steve did a horrible job at lying on the spot, and was even worse when he had an audience, so Tony took pity on his husband and saved him from his dilemma.

Tony slung an arm around Steve, giving a shit-eating grin to the camera. “Absolutely absurd idea, Peter is a twig compared to Spider-Man. Right Cap?” Steve just nodded, not trusting himself to say anything else. The camera turned back to Peter, who’s jaw had dropped from shock.

“You’re my dad! Why are you attacking me?”

Tony shrugged. “For the vine, I guess.” He laughed when Peter dropped his head in his hands, groaning.

“I hate this fucking family.”

Steve finally snapped out of his mini panic.“Peter! Watch your language!” He scolded, which made Peter groan again and Tony laugh even harder.

 

 **You Know Who I Am**  @TonyStank 

       Thank you @WIRED for interviewing my son. God knows that no one else would want to.

             |

 **peter** @Pooter

       @TonyStank DAD WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN TO ME IS THIS BECAUSE OF THE OREOS

             |

 **You Know Who I Am**  @TonyStank

@Pooter YES OF COURSE IT’S BECAUSE OF THE OREOS YOU FUCKING ATE ALL OF THEM

             |

 **Steve Rogers** @SRogers

       @Pooter @TonyStank Language!

 

 

 **3 DAYS** @capscrunch 

       “language!” ASHJDLKKHSGH captain america is so pure we don’t deserve him

 **andy** @bironman 

       the entire rogers-stark family?? iconic

 **💀💩 L** @deadpool

       tony stark roasting his own son because of oreos is my aesthetic

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is tbh, just wrote whatever came to mind.  
> i might make a series out of this. maybe?? idk, depends on what you guys think.  
> if you enjoyed this story, please leave some kudos and/or comments!! thank you for reading - nat :^)


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